It has been pretty difficult to shorten the list of possible titles for this text to just those two, so I'm going to be liberal with myself and let them both be.
Here are some others that would describe (some of) the feelings within my chest:
3.-Perfect Things that Can't Be
4.-The Nostalgia of Air Views of a City You're Leaving Behind
5.-Goodbyes were Invented by the Devil
6.-Lonely Cats are Pitiful Beings
7.-Ever though that "Galway" kind of sounds like "go away"? // My Friends Moved to Go Away City
8.-On Pulled Out Roots that Dry and Die
9.-Crying around Corners (and Chests)
10.-Taking back steps I took forward (hurts)
11.-Last Post Until Further Notice
12.-Empty Houses
13.-Coming to Terms with the Uncontrollable Aspects of my Life /No
It will all make sense as the post develops, so I'll better get started.
I didn't say anything to most people, but it was a month last Thursday since I got to know that I have to leave Eire for an undefined time span. That one was a hectic week as well, filled with events such as the following:
WEDNESDAY Dean: "OhMyGodI'mPregnant"
THURSDAY Doctor day with my pregnant brother;
.1:Are you going to breastfeed?
.2:Coming back home after the whole day with no battery on the phone and finding 20 missed calls from Mom. Running to top up, calling, having to go back to Spain.
.3:Thinking that D&D would me my last one and wanting to die on my way back from it.
FRIDAY Hey, let's lose consciousness, I bet it's fun like.
Anyway, days passed by and the rush to leave decreased. I thought that would give me some time to come to terms with the idea and the situation at home, but, ermh, no, it didn't.
We finally moved away from the hellish house we were living in on the 19th of March. The new house is so very lovely but I'm not going to get into any details here because...
...Ben got offered the best job ever in Go Away city on the 20th of March. The starting date of the job was the 31st of the same month.
My brother is having the worst pregnancy ever, and I already had my flight booked for the 5th of April, so the initial idea of her staying in Cork if Ben got the job was quickly thrown away.
In the following week, we sealed a few gaps and then...
The goodbyes started. I hate them. I hate all the "It's not like it's forever"s, "You will be back soon anyway"s, "Go Away is not even that far away"s, "You'll see how you get to like it there"s, and "Your father will get better in no time"s.
Oh, there, I said it.
Ben and Dean left on Saturday morning. Oh, fuck. The only thing my cat and I have done since is to cry around corners. The house is so quiet I can't breathe. I even "slept" with Gwen last night! With my cat!
Now, today I went on with some more goodbyes. It was the Firetruck, and I've got to say life is the most unfair thing ever. We met in the city and then we went to his very fancy apartment overlooking the whole frigging town. And looking at the whole thing,at every single building, at the river and the marina and the tiny little streets,... it kept me from breathing.
Then, I managed to relax (a bit) and even if I was sad and down, we played around and cooked lunch and had it. It was remarkably yummy.
And everything was nice until we finished and there was nothing else to do but holding tight to each other so that the physical contact made up for the future absence of poking.
It was nice to hug forever like that, because it was something I couldn't do with Dean - either Ben was around saying "Go Away is not that far", or we were both too broken about parting for the hug to feel good.
But it was alright with the Firetruck because he was so serene, smiling his perpetual stupid smile at the infinite, and I could cry a little against his chest without it being too messy.
And still, in all that warmth, I could only think of how perfect Cork looked from the windows and how I can't stay, and of how perfect the hug felt and how it could only be a goodbye hug.
And then, he has walked me outside and held a Berlin umbrella as we hugged one last time under the rain, and after that, he has given me a bunch of tissues and said the umbrella is mine now. And I've walked away. Back "home". Holding an umbrella during the whole way probably for the first time ever.
When I first knew that I had to leave, I thought of it as pulling out my life's roots and planting it again carelessly, leaving all the tips out to dry. I also thought that it's not the first time I do that and that it never felt so bad before.
So I had to work on the metaphor a bit further.
It doesn't hurt to pull out your life's roots when they are buried in dry, sterile rocks or in debris. But the process is painful when they come out of the fresh, watered ground of a garden, specially if they were intertwined with other roots, of other lives.
Getting to the garden was a tough task, but it was done, but now, will all the flowers admit back an unattended hawthorn bush that left its place? Won't there be a beautiful rosebush on its place by the time it can come back?
Showing posts with label Gwen Anubis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gwen Anubis. Show all posts
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Monday, 2 December 2013
It's hard to find a moment just quiet enough to write in this life of mine...
So what's happened since I last blogged?
Lots of stuff, really.
Things are getting very Christmassy around.
I spent last weekend in Dublin, with a bunch of people from D&D, and it was absolutely brilliant even though I didn't have the chance to hang out with L., E., or N.; But I met some really lovely people! I specially want to mention V., 'cause she's great fun, and we even went shopping together yesterday evening!*. Before that, we had had lunch in this place called Lost Society. This is important because it's in this shopping centre somewhere around Grafton Street (but not the one at the end of it... maybe it was in Powerscourt street? whatever. Just somewhere there.) and very place was packed but this restaurant was like... completely deserted, but the food was nice, and the decoration, brilliant. Seriously, check it out!
We did that after the sketching-in-the-museum-with-an-orchestra thing, and I need to say, that the museum part was very nice (it was in the Dublin City Gallery), specially Francis Bacon's studio, kinda shocking!
Because my checkout time had been 10am, I went for a walk (and breakfast) by myself before meeting up with everyone else for the gallery. I was disappointed to find the Ha'penny Bridge Café closed down, but I found another cute little place just around the corner, by the Grand Social, called something along the lines of "The Traditional Bakery Café", and it was basically that, but with seriously good prices.
I had gone to bed early the previous night because, even if I tried to hang out with all the different drinkanddrawers from different places, I had come out of Dr. Sketchy's with a terrible headache. I've got to say, that even with the peculiar choice of music and its volume, I found it very enjoyable! I was a bit lost because I hadn't done any life drawing in an awful long time ("Ein? This? A pencil? How does one hold it? What does it do?), but I think it was brilliant practise! I did feel more confident as the poses went by anyway!
Oh, and congratulations to E. for her cupcake! Those looked veeery yummy!
Before getting there we had only all gathered together, had a craftsy dinner in a fancy place (to fancy for crafts, probably, but... who cares... right?) and checked in in our respective rooms in respective ho(s)tels. And this is when I re-thank E. for allowing me to keep her room thus making the trip possible for me. Seriously, she's awesome in too many levels.
Related to that above, and before going on to the rest of things that have happened since October 6th, I want to thank everyone who was concerned for the fact that I didn't have the money to go to Dublin, and offered to help me, including, but not limited to, my parents, who are awesome, S., C., P., and R.
Now, before last Saturday, in the last 2 months I... decided to move, found a house, moved**, had several rows this the letting agency, got my cat to be a cat, got another cat (I love you Crowley!) had S. and S. over for Halloween/M.'s birthday, dealt with several friends breaking up with their partners, reorganised my room 3 times, had my credit card eaten by Isis (dogie) and, oh, yeah, most recently, had another baby dog adopted by my housemates.
Anyway, a piece of music for ye:
*Don't you worry, we'll be buying fancy dresses in Brown Thomas any day now...
**I'm living with L=Dean and B now :)
Lots of stuff, really.
Things are getting very Christmassy around.
I spent last weekend in Dublin, with a bunch of people from D&D, and it was absolutely brilliant even though I didn't have the chance to hang out with L., E., or N.; But I met some really lovely people! I specially want to mention V., 'cause she's great fun, and we even went shopping together yesterday evening!*. Before that, we had had lunch in this place called Lost Society. This is important because it's in this shopping centre somewhere around Grafton Street (but not the one at the end of it... maybe it was in Powerscourt street? whatever. Just somewhere there.) and very place was packed but this restaurant was like... completely deserted, but the food was nice, and the decoration, brilliant. Seriously, check it out!
We did that after the sketching-in-the-museum-with-an-orchestra thing, and I need to say, that the museum part was very nice (it was in the Dublin City Gallery), specially Francis Bacon's studio, kinda shocking!
Because my checkout time had been 10am, I went for a walk (and breakfast) by myself before meeting up with everyone else for the gallery. I was disappointed to find the Ha'penny Bridge Café closed down, but I found another cute little place just around the corner, by the Grand Social, called something along the lines of "The Traditional Bakery Café", and it was basically that, but with seriously good prices.
I had gone to bed early the previous night because, even if I tried to hang out with all the different drinkanddrawers from different places, I had come out of Dr. Sketchy's with a terrible headache. I've got to say, that even with the peculiar choice of music and its volume, I found it very enjoyable! I was a bit lost because I hadn't done any life drawing in an awful long time ("Ein? This? A pencil? How does one hold it? What does it do?), but I think it was brilliant practise! I did feel more confident as the poses went by anyway!
Oh, and congratulations to E. for her cupcake! Those looked veeery yummy!
Before getting there we had only all gathered together, had a craftsy dinner in a fancy place (to fancy for crafts, probably, but... who cares... right?) and checked in in our respective rooms in respective ho(s)tels. And this is when I re-thank E. for allowing me to keep her room thus making the trip possible for me. Seriously, she's awesome in too many levels.
Related to that above, and before going on to the rest of things that have happened since October 6th, I want to thank everyone who was concerned for the fact that I didn't have the money to go to Dublin, and offered to help me, including, but not limited to, my parents, who are awesome, S., C., P., and R.
Now, before last Saturday, in the last 2 months I... decided to move, found a house, moved**, had several rows this the letting agency, got my cat to be a cat, got another cat (I love you Crowley!) had S. and S. over for Halloween/M.'s birthday, dealt with several friends breaking up with their partners, reorganised my room 3 times, had my credit card eaten by Isis (dogie) and, oh, yeah, most recently, had another baby dog adopted by my housemates.
Anyway, a piece of music for ye:
*Don't you worry, we'll be buying fancy dresses in Brown Thomas any day now...
**I'm living with L=Dean and B now :)
Sunday, 15 September 2013
Culinary Experiment: Gravy
So here we are, the three of us, waiting for Omnipotent C to come for dinner. Of course he's late! But the chiken is going to get dry...
[So he came, eventually!]
It's after dinner now...
There was this mystery in our lives before, named Gravy :P Neither M. or I had ever seen real gravy, so we wondered what it actually was, we asked google, and we ended up watching a youtube video about how to throw away half the contents of your kitchen and get some gravy to freeze in return. I was obviously outraged! But it did make me find out what gravy means to be: enthickened roast sauce.
So that was the project for tonight's dinner and the reason why we had C. over- S. does eat well, but a whole big chicken for three can be quite too much!
It's all about being pacient, really: I put the carrots and garlick cloves and onions general veggies in the oven first, with some herbs adn pepper and salt and oil and a cup of water, on a low heat (160º in my oven probably equal 120 actual degrees...) and after an hour I put the chicken and the potatoes, with the corresponden salt and oil, having put the liquid apart first (you keep getting more, it's fascinating- cooking is fascinating, in general!), and let it roast ( heat up, too).
So now the real gravy making part comes! and it's very easy and very tricky too, because... you will see xD
You can eoither make it with olive oil or by gettin some more sauce from the chicken in the oven, that will very quicky start letting grease out of itself and into the sauce. Anyway- you put the grease of your choice in a frying pan and you add a small tablespoon of flour. You fry it, letting it toast a bit- A BIT, I BEG YOU, DON'T BURN IT! I know what I'm talking about! And then you add the rest of the sauce. It will get thick when it boils, what it does quicky. So in that sense you can say that gravy is wha tI had always known as the elavorated version of Spanish Sauce: there, mystery solved!
So yeah, that kept me in the kitchen all the afternoon (well that, and sopu, to be fair).
And it is a new week again tomorrow- isn't life just exhausting?
I'm also quite afraid of next week because new student and so on, starting tomorrow at 9.30. I didn't have the time to prepare the lesson, with all the cooking. We will see... I would like to get someone wish me good luck anyway.
The weekend was great craic, of course, with Dean and Supernatural and another ICC walk adn everything a weekend needs to include (lie- no chess game yet, I home to fix that soon!)
[So he came, eventually!]
It's after dinner now...
There was this mystery in our lives before, named Gravy :P Neither M. or I had ever seen real gravy, so we wondered what it actually was, we asked google, and we ended up watching a youtube video about how to throw away half the contents of your kitchen and get some gravy to freeze in return. I was obviously outraged! But it did make me find out what gravy means to be: enthickened roast sauce.
So that was the project for tonight's dinner and the reason why we had C. over- S. does eat well, but a whole big chicken for three can be quite too much!
It's all about being pacient, really: I put the carrots and garlick cloves and onions general veggies in the oven first, with some herbs adn pepper and salt and oil and a cup of water, on a low heat (160º in my oven probably equal 120 actual degrees...) and after an hour I put the chicken and the potatoes, with the corresponden salt and oil, having put the liquid apart first (you keep getting more, it's fascinating- cooking is fascinating, in general!), and let it roast ( heat up, too).
So now the real gravy making part comes! and it's very easy and very tricky too, because... you will see xD
You can eoither make it with olive oil or by gettin some more sauce from the chicken in the oven, that will very quicky start letting grease out of itself and into the sauce. Anyway- you put the grease of your choice in a frying pan and you add a small tablespoon of flour. You fry it, letting it toast a bit- A BIT, I BEG YOU, DON'T BURN IT! I know what I'm talking about! And then you add the rest of the sauce. It will get thick when it boils, what it does quicky. So in that sense you can say that gravy is wha tI had always known as the elavorated version of Spanish Sauce: there, mystery solved!
So yeah, that kept me in the kitchen all the afternoon (well that, and sopu, to be fair).
And it is a new week again tomorrow- isn't life just exhausting?
I'm also quite afraid of next week because new student and so on, starting tomorrow at 9.30. I didn't have the time to prepare the lesson, with all the cooking. We will see... I would like to get someone wish me good luck anyway.
The weekend was great craic, of course, with Dean and Supernatural and another ICC walk adn everything a weekend needs to include (lie- no chess game yet, I home to fix that soon!)
Friday, 9 August 2013
How I met Dean
[semi-fictional piece in which "Dean" stands formy very dear friend L. and a reference to "Supernatural"]
I'd had a very stressful day yesterday, so I called E. and convinced him to come all the way to the city to sooth me as we had dinner in SubWay. He couldn't posibly escape because he recently told me to just whistle whenever I needed to chat with someone, he's so nice.
So, as we were ordering our chicken rolls there, two super geeky girls came in. They got my attention because they were... super geeky, and Spanish.
We quickly went out once we got the food, and what did we find there? God, there was this beautiful kitten with think black stripes on a b rownish grey background meowing at our sandwhitches! We stopped to stroke her (even if it wasn't any easy) and fed her some of our chicken, and that's when the two Spanish people came out. The delight was obvious in their faces when they saw the cat, specially in one of them, and she as with us in a moment, feeding and stroking the little fella ( :P ), and we quickly starting talking to each other. Her name's Dean, and she's trying to stop the Armagedon that she started herself...
We all had dinner together and after crazily laughing about silly stuff for a good while we walked E. to the bus stop, and dropped the other girl home. Dean asked me whether I could help her go pick up her boyfriend at work so there we went...
The way to his workplace involved walking past the subway again, and there was still the kitten, who, probably remembering that we'd fed her before, followed us all the way to Dean's boyfriend's workplace. I spent all the way there lamenting how we are not allowed to keep any pets in our apartmen, but Dean said she could help her, and that made me feel extremely happy! She's such a nice girl, I'm so happy I met her! So we decided that the cat was going to be called Gwen, because I really really always wanted to have a cat named Gwen and even if she won't exactly be my cat Dean let me pick her name!!
So got there, and as we waited for B. to come (B.'s Dean's boyfriend), this person went into the building. And this person was... hm... he was a 50/50mix of Batman's Mr. Penguin and Silent Bob, so well, both of us were paying him lots of attention, so he dialed the code to open the door and opened the door and closed the door and I was focusing all my attention in that person who was a Silent Penguin and once he walked away I realised that I had memorised the code to open the door. So we tried, and it worked and we quietly stayed out but we felt we had something huge, and that, in case any of you don't know it, is a great feeling!
So the last bit of the story is that, once B. came down, he saw the cat, and agreed to keep her (-ish, but whatever), but he said every animal in his house needs to be given and Egyptian name and Dean and I didn't want wen to stop being Gwen but we decided she could have two names. That was when she became Gwen Anubis.
[That up there is a very distorted version of yesterday, but I did have a lot of fun with L. and we did end up with a kitten named Gwen Anubis so... the essence of it is true. We just realised that the actual way how L. and I met isn't any cool so we decided to fit it into yesterday's story. Now, pretend you don't know this is not how it happened!
Also, thanks, E., for starring in my story :P I couldn't love you more :(]
I'd had a very stressful day yesterday, so I called E. and convinced him to come all the way to the city to sooth me as we had dinner in SubWay. He couldn't posibly escape because he recently told me to just whistle whenever I needed to chat with someone, he's so nice.
So, as we were ordering our chicken rolls there, two super geeky girls came in. They got my attention because they were... super geeky, and Spanish.
We quickly went out once we got the food, and what did we find there? God, there was this beautiful kitten with think black stripes on a b rownish grey background meowing at our sandwhitches! We stopped to stroke her (even if it wasn't any easy) and fed her some of our chicken, and that's when the two Spanish people came out. The delight was obvious in their faces when they saw the cat, specially in one of them, and she as with us in a moment, feeding and stroking the little fella ( :P ), and we quickly starting talking to each other. Her name's Dean, and she's trying to stop the Armagedon that she started herself...
We all had dinner together and after crazily laughing about silly stuff for a good while we walked E. to the bus stop, and dropped the other girl home. Dean asked me whether I could help her go pick up her boyfriend at work so there we went...
The way to his workplace involved walking past the subway again, and there was still the kitten, who, probably remembering that we'd fed her before, followed us all the way to Dean's boyfriend's workplace. I spent all the way there lamenting how we are not allowed to keep any pets in our apartmen, but Dean said she could help her, and that made me feel extremely happy! She's such a nice girl, I'm so happy I met her! So we decided that the cat was going to be called Gwen, because I really really always wanted to have a cat named Gwen and even if she won't exactly be my cat Dean let me pick her name!!
So got there, and as we waited for B. to come (B.'s Dean's boyfriend), this person went into the building. And this person was... hm... he was a 50/50mix of Batman's Mr. Penguin and Silent Bob, so well, both of us were paying him lots of attention, so he dialed the code to open the door and opened the door and closed the door and I was focusing all my attention in that person who was a Silent Penguin and once he walked away I realised that I had memorised the code to open the door. So we tried, and it worked and we quietly stayed out but we felt we had something huge, and that, in case any of you don't know it, is a great feeling!
So the last bit of the story is that, once B. came down, he saw the cat, and agreed to keep her (-ish, but whatever), but he said every animal in his house needs to be given and Egyptian name and Dean and I didn't want wen to stop being Gwen but we decided she could have two names. That was when she became Gwen Anubis.
[That up there is a very distorted version of yesterday, but I did have a lot of fun with L. and we did end up with a kitten named Gwen Anubis so... the essence of it is true. We just realised that the actual way how L. and I met isn't any cool so we decided to fit it into yesterday's story. Now, pretend you don't know this is not how it happened!
Also, thanks, E., for starring in my story :P I couldn't love you more :(]
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